Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
