Kareoke will never be a sober sport
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
