I am in a vortex of obligation.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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