yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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