he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
