Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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