those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
