Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
