apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
