The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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