so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
