Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
