We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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