I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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