she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
