I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
His nipple licking is glorious
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