how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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