You made me cry and you don't even care
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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