i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize