gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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