The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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