Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Randomize
