so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
