Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You've changed since you got that strap on
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
