I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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