I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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