i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
