I will die if light touches me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
As shirtless as possible
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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