so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
