Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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