Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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