you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
