CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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