yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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