you win again, gameday.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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