Plan B is the new Plan A
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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