I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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