My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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