Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
