I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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