i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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