so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
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