Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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