So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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