Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
