Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
