It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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