Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Quick, to the slutcave!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
