Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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