Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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