how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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