Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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