I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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