We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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