So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
