So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
