You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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