areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
