here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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