More tranny stories later!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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