Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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