Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
