So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
